"I never go anywhere without my Barclaycard."

The Torres de Colón is a two-tower building in Madrid. Apparently, it's been voted one of the ugliest buildings in the world. It is certainly the most shamelessly seventies buildings I've ever seen (though work started on it in the sixties). To be honest, I actually think there's something quite romantic about it.... The title of this post was taken from a 1970s Barclaycard advert - rollover the picture of the towers to see what my fictional Barclays flagship offices may have looked like back then.

And the winner is...

Some of you may, in previous years, have been lucky enough to receive one of my famous home-made Christmas cards. This year, I have created a limited edition: five cards will be put in the post tomorrow - is one on its way to you?*

*Probably not, because they were written with those in mind who don't know how to work the blog.

Navidad part 2

A History of Britain

Muchos eventos son importantes a la moderna Gran Bretaña.

Primero fue la invasión de los Normandos en el año 1066 (mil sesenta y seis).

Después hubo muchas peleas entre los reyes y el pueblo.

La Carta Magna fue firmada en el año 1215 (mil doscientos y quince).

Decía que los reyes tenían que hacer la paz.

Luego en el año 1509 (mil quinientos y nueve) Enrique Octavo fue hecho rey.

Él creó la Iglesia de Inglaterra y tuvo seis mujeres.

Más tarde, en 1613 (mil seiscientos y trece), Shakespeare escribió una obra de teatro sobre Enrique.

Ese año, el teatro de Shakespeare se quemó.

Cuarenta años después de la muerte de Shakespeare tuvo lugar el gran incendio de Londres.

Empezó en una panadería pequeña pero destruyó más de trece mil casas.

Despacio, Londres se recuperó y en el siglo diecinueve dominó el comercio mundial.

Luego, la economía de Gran Bretaña padeció porque el país se unió a la Primera Guerra Mundial.

Poco después tuvo lugar la Segunda Guerra Mundial.

En ese momento el primer ministro de Gran Bretaña era Winston Churchill.

Hoy, Gran Bretaña se ha recuperado de las guerras pero tiene nuevos problemas con la economía a causa de crisis de global de crédito.

Navidad part 1

Change of plan

I won't be able to photograph the Christmas lights until the weekend, so can't treat you to the visual feast I promised. In the meantime, I am showcasing my home-made advent calendar. It was originally a project for the kids, but they lost interest after about seven seconds so I just did it on my own.

For the front, I cheated and printed out someone else's festive scene in which I cut the windows. Then I drew the pictures for each window on a second piece of paper and glued it behind the first. Check back on Tuesday to open window #1!

2010 Update: I've now removed all the pictures of the advent calendar, which were cluttering up the blog, but have posted the final view on a new page here.

Schmap: Madrid Photo Short-list

I had an email today from Schmap, a publisher of free digital travel guides. I guess they must trawl Flickr for photos because it turns out my photo, above, of Spain's National Library has been short-listed for inclusion in the ninth edition of the Schmap Madrid Guide. Isn't that nice!

Essay of little or no significance #4: CDO²‎

Luis Buñuel, by Dalí, at the Reina Sofia.

I hope it didn’t escape your attention that my tongue-in-cheek tirade against art critics reflects my genuine views on the use of overly complex language in general.

Earlier this year I suggested to someone who had “been in the industry for 30 years”* that his client might benefit from simplifying its terms and conditions so that its customers would be able to understand them. He scoffed at the suggestion, which I thought was remarkable – galling, in fact – given that by then it was widely accepted that a key factor in the collapse of the global financial system was the complexity and opacity of the instruments that had until then sustained it.

See also: “Global Asset Backed Securitisation: Towards a New Dawn of Collateral Debt Obligations and Default Swap Derivatives – Synthesizing Syndicated Securities in the post-Lehman World”, Paul Colpitts (2009).

* (Tosser.)

Holidays are coming!

To allay your (that's vuestro as opposed to tu - it's so strange having to think of the word "you" in singular and plural form) concern that I am neglecting the blog, I am proposing to do something quite brilliant. A new post for every day of December! Más o menos.

I'm not sure when it will happen, but at some point - probably the 31st? - Madrid's Christmas lights are going to be turned on. If I can take enough photos quickly enough, I can post them here and give you a sort of virtual advent calendar!

Do check back on 1 December when I should have got the ball rolling.

A restaurant near the Palacio Real. Way too expensive to actually eat there, so I took a photo instead.

The Retiro is a huge park in the centre of Madrid. From it's beginnings in 1505, the park has been modified and extended by successive royal families to create the current 350-acre giant. It is wonderful to wander aimlessly from one sculpture to another, and in the sunshine it is easy to forget that one is only a few minutes' walk from the city. But in spite of the laughing crowds there is also a sense that in this vast park some monuments are slipping into neglect and can already only hint at the grandeur of a forgotten time. It can be melancholy, but is no less pleasant for it.

Essay of little or no significance #3: Art

Discussion of contemporary art is deliberately opaque and inaccessible to those outside an elite inner circle. Artists and art critics are rewarded for discussing - and are encouraged to discuss - artwork with an increasingly obscure nomenclature that immediately excludes lay participation. In most cases, culprits are guilty, at best, of the sloppy use of inappropriate words and phrases and a failure to fully understand their own messages. At worst, they are guilty of being deliberately confusing and misleading. As a result, amateurs are discouraged from expressing opinions about art by faux intellectual barriers that deny the legitimacy of the reactions it can invoke.

From “Challenging the Perception of Visual Space and Other Meaningless Accusations”, Paul Colpitts (2008).

Who needs Sunday roast...?

Happy Halloween!

Toledo Cathedral. Toledo was the capital of Spain on more than one occasion, but finally handed power over to Madrid for good in 1561. It's subsequent slowing economy has resulted mercifully in the preservation of a beautiful higgledy piggledy city littered with buildings and monuments of all cultures and eras.

Essay of little or no significance #2: what follows from what?

"What the Tortoise Said to Achilles" is a short essay by Lewis Caroll, published in 1895. It playfully explores one of the most fundamental questions of reasoning: what follows from what? Certainly the philosopher in me is always very interested in what a statement implies.

I recently learnt the phrases “Voy a clase” (“I’m going to class”) and “Me voy de clase” (“I’m leaving class”). The information that those statements provide is quite clear, but there is more to them than meets the eye. The first, for example, tells you not only that I am going to class but also that I am not currently at class; the second tells you not only that I am leaving class but also that I am currently in class. So far so trivial, perhaps, but it reminds me of another much more powerful example.

Suppose Epimenides, a Cretan philosopher, once said "Cretans never tell the truth." Was his statement true or false? It would seem his statement cannot be true, because if Epimenides was telling the truth then that itself would make his statement false. So Epimenides’ statement must be false. But here’s the interesting part (no, really): for his statement to be false there must have existed at least one Cretan (including himself) who once said something true. And if it’s not fascinating that such an innocuous looking statement can guarantee the existence of truth-telling Cretans, I don’t know what is.

Flickr

I've just realised that photos uploaded to the blog and Facebook lose some of their quality. I've now also uploaded all the photos to Flickr and changed the "Blog Photos" link to my Flickr album, where the quality is preserved. You can also now click on any photo to be taken straight to the Flickr version. Currently, even 'Flickr quality' photos are still 'blog size', but I'll look at that shortly in case you want to see the superbig originals.

Flyby during the Fiesta Nacional de España, the national day of Spain. The fiesta commemorates the day that Christopher Columbus (an anglicized version of Cristoforo Colombo, though after being adopted by Spain from Italy he called himself Cristóbal Colón anyway) landed in the Americas.

Columbus celebrations are held for the same purpose across the Americas, though they are not always whole-heartedly supported. Indigenous people in particular are likely to feel a little irritated by the suggestion that their land was "discovered".

In Madrid, the King of Spain and Presidente oversee a military parade that lasts around two hours. Go and see it if you like tanks.

This was the moment...

...that Madrid didn’t win the 2016 Olympic Games. I suspect my counterpart in Brazil got a better shot. [Note: my photo was lost anyway when Picasa was upgraded.]

Congratulations, then, to Rio de Janeiro. Rio’s victory ruined what would have been a great photo for me, but I was also genuinely disappointed because I felt that Madrid was the most deserving city. The disappointment in the crowd with me at Plaza de Oriente was palpable, and I wondered how many had gone through similar heartbreak in 2005. Of course, votes for Madrid needn’t (and shouldn’t) have been out of sympathy for its 2005 defeat. Votes for any candidate city should have been on the basis that the city had the best bid. I’m not sure that sentiment is what led to Rio’s election.

Rio de Janeiro may be developing at an admirable rate, but it remains notorious for inequality, poverty and violence. Journalists commented in the run up to the announcement that only a minority will feel the benefit of the Olympic carnival. One community leader stated that the Olympics are not what Rio should be spending its money on, given the state of its schools and hospitals. But then someone could be found in any candidate city to express such cynicism, while arguably the Olympics could be the perfect remedy to some of Rio’s social problems. Why, then, didn’t the media or the IOC tout this? Rio’s problems were barely discussed, and Friday’s coverage of the decision focussed on how a South American country deserved a first Olympics (or worse, that Europe didn’t deserve another).

But a vote for a city because it is not in Europe or because it has never hosted the Olympics is not necessarily a vote for the city with the best bid.

Having watched Real Madrid’s 5-0 drubbing of Xerez a week earlier, I didn’t have high hopes for Tenerife last Saturday. Yet despite an eight-year absence from the Primera División, Tenerife will have hoped to cause an upset, and not for the first time. In the mid-90s they denied Real the title, gifting it to bitter rivals Barcelona, by beating them on the last day of the season. Twice! But Real continued their 100% start to the season and, although they took longer to break the deadlock (they had scored within 90 seconds in their previous two matches, both goals thanks to individual efforts by Ronaldo), they comfortably saw off the visitors 3-0. The win moved them to the top of “La Liga” on goal difference.

La Noche en Blanco 2009

On Saturday Madrid held the fourth edition of its all-night arts festival, la Noche en Blanco. In keeping with the nuit blanche tradition that has evolved in Europe, the city's bars, museums and galleries stayed open until 0700, and around 170 acts - ranging from live music and performing arts to artistic installations - filled the streets. The picture shows one of Madrid's most iconic streets, Gran Viá, with its streetlights having been temporarily replaced in favour of an extravagant light show.

The Hotel Mediodía, opposite what is now the Museo Reina Sofía. Built in 1914, the French-influenced architecture is typical of Alfonso XIII’s attempts to embellish the city of Madrid, which had lagged behind other European capitals due to its lack of natural resources and frequent political disturbances.

Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofía

Housed in what was originally a hospital, Spain's national museum of 20th century art is one of the three galleries that make up Madrid's golden triangle of art. Its collection includes some fantastic pieces by Dalí and Miró, a replica of one of whose paintings hangs in the upstairs living room of my host family's house (at least, I assume it's a replica...). The Reina Sofía is also home to many works by Picasso, whose breathtaking Guernica dominates an entire room of its own.

Last week I cycled further than is preferable in 30-degree sunshine (it was about 1km) to an area marked on my map as "Playa de Madrid". I eventually found the long roadway entrance, guarded by what looked a Spanish guerrilla. I don't know quite what I expected to find at my destination, but the guerrilla clearly regarded me as an utter fool when he barked something at me along the lines of: "Se llama la Playa de Madrid pero no hay playa, vale? Ir."

(I know Spain has lizards everywhere, but you wouldn't believe the difficulty I've had recounting this tale on account of people not being able to see how 'guerrilla' should be spelt.)

Essay of little or no significance #1: probability

I have just rolled a dice. What is that probability that I have rolled a 5? Is it one in six? No.

Before the roll the probability of rolling a 5 was one in six. That’s because a 5 is just one of six possible outcomes all of which are equally likely. But what about after the roll? If I have rolled a 3, is it equally likely that I have rolled a 5? Of course not: I have rolled a 3, I have rolled no other number.

The probability that I have rolled a 5 must therefore be one in one or zero in one, not one in six: either I definitely have or I definitely haven’t rolled a 5.

I'm not usually one to indulge in "possible worlds", but here they can be used to great effect. Imagine that I am about to roll a dice, but stop me; freeze the frame. Duplicate the scene in your mind five times and play all six possible worlds at once. It's feasible that in each possible world a different number is rolled. There was, after all, a one in six chance for each number.

Now rewind the tape. This time, allow me to roll and cover the dice before you freeze the frame and duplicate the scene. Play all the scenes at once. You will find that in every possible world I roll the same number. If I rolled a 5 in the real world, I will have rolled a 5 in every other possible world. The probability that I had rolled a 5 was not one in six but one in one; there was no chance that it could have been any other number. As they say, alea iacta est!

Common lizards run riot here, so I am determined to get a better shot of one than this.

[Imagine a photograph of a bustling C&A store here.]

C&A quit the UK market in 2000, closing its last stores in 2001. Nine years later, it continues to trade in 18 European countries. Who knew?

Does anyone know what this is?

Ferdinand III of Castile was King of Castile from 1217 and of Galicia and León from 1230. Castile & León is now one of seventeen autonomous communities of Spain while Galicia is another.

Ferdinand was canonized in 1671. The inscription on this statue reads "San Fernando III Rey".